The Next Poem About Fall 2005

September 12, 2005
Sleepiness becoming increasingly noticeable two weeks in to getting up at six

Yesterday I fell asleep on the couch for half an hour in the sun
wearing my big clunky red sandals
I wouldn’t have thought it possible to fall asleep
in those particular shoes

Most nights now I’m out within minutes
Much from the weekend gets lost forever I fear
Impressions that used to fall into the spaces between sleep and wakefulness
and sit there waiting for me
Now that those spaces are increasingly nonexistent
lots of things just glide right off the surface of my mind

I can tell you about the heavenly warmth and softness
of the two fresh clean dry towels
I hung on their hooks in the bathroom on Saturday
right out of the dryer
and leaned foreword and pushed my face into
Why is that so comforting?
It’s linked somehow to soft blankets and plush bears
all the yielding things that give comfort to toddlers
Some of my strongest memories of the kitchen growing up are
of the hot laundry coming out of the dryer
and burying my face in it
That and the way the yellow morning light would angle in
Those windows faced east
so that was the sun coming up behind the hills on days when there was no fog
Our current windows face west
so sunrise
though I’m certainly awake for it these days
is simply
a slowly incremental increase of brightness
a fading away of grayness

We went to Nathan’s housewarming on Friday
and his big rambling old apartment moved me
the way people’s new homes always do
the idea of setting up a place to live and the essential charm of interiors
and there was the sweetest tiny room halfway up the stairs
with windows on three sides

The immediacy of Saturday and Sunday was mostly hidden
behind the veil of sleepiness
Other things I might have been moved by
hot dogs in Union Square, the Solano Stroll parade, Mama's garden
passed pleasantly enough in a bit of a blur
You can’t force it
but surely you can work on attending?
Try and understand what gets in
and what gets away
And why

This morning in the kitchen at work there were
seven bright green pears
with elongated necks and little brown knobbles all over
sitting on the blue table
that caught my eye

image source is here