Sometimes the world seems to narrow down to nearly nothing
Yesterday it was hard to see anything at all
but Bill’s unhappiness
and if we’re being honest
my unhappiness about his unhappiness
It’s more complicated than that
of course
In fact the complexity is part of what makes it
so relentlessly absorbing
For one thing he’s not unhappy
in the true sense of the word
he’s harassed and anxious and fretful
but he does a pretty good imitation of unhappiness
sometimes
And I’m thinking I’ll be left with
little more to record
than an impression of his soft tan velour jacket against my face last night
and his crisp laundered blue and white shirt against my face this morning
But then there was one moment on the walk to work this morning
Some soaring wordless music was playing on my ipod and I caught
a glimpse of the sky
just the ordinary sky
fog beginning to burn off
soft luminescent gray and blue
And the gray and white tops of the buildings
looked like crenellations against this sky
The whole thing was
somehow
really quite moving
Music’s not a thing I naturally connect to strongly
the sky and buildings a bit more so
Smells, flowers, fabrics, food, light, color
are all so much more immediately present to me
But it’s reassuring to know that one can stretch oneself
or rather find oneself stretched by the things in the world
image source is here
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