A hard start to the day
woke up at five
with Bill crying
This is what they said
being a new teacher would be like
but I don’t think we believed them
I tried to comfort him
I worry about him
And then I worry that I don’t do a good enough job consoling him
And then I try to remember that it isn’t about me
And am left haunted all morning by the impression
of clinging miserably together in the darkness
And
predictably
try to distract
or comfort myself
with tiny thoughts from the day
Because yesterday was cold I’d decided today would be
my first day of autumn to wear tights
quite excited I picked out the eggplant pair with clocking
so of course
today was hot
dressing for yesterday nearly always being a mistake
I also got excited about having toast for breakfast
made from leftover bakery bread
and that was good
toast is autumnal to me and happy
My new soap is the color of ivory
(as opposed to ivory soap which is the dead white color of bone)
and round like a river rock
It looks handsome in the soap dish
Had to deadhead the geranium this evening
the one red flower finally died
but there are new leaves
and the plants look fresh and healthy
The leaves smell almost as good as the flowers
peppery
but I’ll miss the spot of color and implicit hopefulness
Oh and the viscerally unpleasant moment
when I went to take the trash out and discovered
curdled yogurt leaking out of the bag
and all over the bottom of the trash can
took the can downstairs
and washed it out at the spigot in the courtyard
splashing my shoes and ankles with water
image source is here
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